Road Trip To Texas - Day 6, 7 & 8

San Antonio's River Walk

With only a couple of days before we had to get Hongi to Houston airport we left New Orleans and headed to San Antonio. The city is very picturesque with the man made river walk the main attraction. With the river going through the city they have made a little canal coming off of it for little boat tours. There is also a hell of a lot of pubs and restaurants along it. With no barrier to stop you falling into the water, it must be very entertaining to sit and watch those a little worse for wear walk along at night.

The Alamo

It would be a shame to come all this way and not do something cultural so we stopped by the setting of the Alamo. Unfortunately John Wayne was not around but we made the most of it as we took a stroll around the building with hundreds of others.

Wikipedia
The Battle of the Alamo (February 23 – March 6, 1836) was a pivotal event in the Texas Revolution. Following a 13-day siege, Mexican troops under President General Antonio López de Santa Anna launched an assault on the Alamo Mission near San Antonio de Béxar (modern-day San Antonio, Texas, USA). All of the Texian defenders were killed. Santa Anna's perceived cruelty during the battle inspired many Texians—both Texas settlers and adventurers from the United States—to join the Texian Army. Buoyed by a desire for revenge, the Texians defeated the Mexican Army at the Battle of San Jacinto, on April 21, 1836, ending the revolution.

Boot Shopping

What Wikipedia doesn't tell you, and neither did the museum in San Antonio, is that the Texans were adamant to remain part of America because they wanted to keep the right to own slaves. If Mexico had won then the slaves would have been freed.

Before heading back to Houston Evan and I stopped by Sheplers, a western clothes shop, to see if we could buy some hats and boots. When in Rome and all that I guess. I must say I didn't expect boots and hats to be so expensive with some pairs of boots going into the thousands as well as a couple of hats. We managed to find some cheaper boots and at first they were surprisingly comfortable (I later learnt that they needed breaking in when my feet were blistered and bruised) Evan's face was similar to that of a kid on Christmas day as he bought more clothes in this one instance than in his entire life. He only ever buys trainers for himself, the rest he waits for birthdays when family buy his wardrobe. 

All cowboyed up, our first port of call was to go and visit the biggest cowboy boots in the world. How many people can claim that they've been to the biggest cowboy boots in the world? How jealous are you?

They Should Fit Me Fine

After dropping Hongi off at the airport Evan and I were now unsupervised, so first thing on the list was to go back to New Orleans for a night on the town. Taking the back streets through Houston we came across the Mexican part of town. The houses were painted very bright colours and everyone seems to be selling things on their front garden, I've never seen so much random things for sale. Our aim before hitting New Orleans was to find some lemons and a spray bottle, the goal was to bleach our hair in the sun. It didn't take long after Hongi left for decisions to turn stupid. 

See, We Didn't Just Drink In New Orleans

For food we stopped off at the Hungry Farmer BBQ. This place was really strange as it was more like a canteen. You picked up your tray and the guys behind the counter dished out whatever meat you wanted, I must say that it was bloody good food though. I've also never seen so many pictures of John Wayne in my life.

Happy Chappy

As we reentered Louisiana we kept looking for Gator Farms but unfortunately they were all closed, apparently they all open the week after we were there. Must be a seasonal thing. Back in New Orleans we threw our things in the hotel and went out for a wander in the sun, complete with lemon juice in our hair. Once again the streets were heaving with tourists and the sun slowly turned my skin from white to red as we sat in the park with cold cans of Strongbow watching the world go by. To prevent us drinking all day we took a stroll along the pier and headed to the French Market. I'm not sure why it's called the French Market as there is nothing French about it, there are a lot of gator heads for sale though. 

Deputy North

Sheriff Babinski

After a quick shower and getting cowboyed up in our hats and boots we set off into town. The difference between the day and the night is the amount of hustlers on the streets. During the day the homeless and the tourists mix together well and there is never a sign of danger or theft. At night hustlers roam the streets for victims, tonight it was Evan and I. Walking along the street a black man peeled off from his group and began walking with us betting that he can guessed where I got my boots. As he's doing this he's shepherding us to the side of the street. Finally stopping us we realised that our backs were against the wall and over his shoulder are his group of friends not too far away. He then alerted us that we 'got our boots on our feet' and demanded money for this lesson. I was going to give him $5 and make haste but he wanted $20, Evan handed it over and upon seeing his friends and how close he was to me I did the same. Apparently it wasn't $20 per person he wanted, but per boot. Part of my brain told me to tell him to stick it and push my way past, but the safer part of my brain saw how close he was and how many of his friends were close by and paid up. I may have been $40 lighter but I managed to walk away without a limp. 

As you walk around the streets there are musicians everywhere. The streets are closed off as bands play in the middle of the road. A marching band parades around the streets but stops playing whenever they approach another musician as to not disrupt them. I'm not a fan of jazz but there is something authentic about listening to it on the streets of New Orleans. Dotted in amongst the musicians are the voodoo people with packs of cards and other gismos to help determine your future. In New Orleans the art of people watching definitely pays off.

Girl Group #1

To make up for the bad start to the night we hit the bar and began to drink away the previous event. Here we came across three girls on a road trip from Oregon heading to Florida. Two of the girls were absolutely hammered despite it still being early in the night. The other girl, Sarah, was the mother figure looking after her friends despite buying them drinks to keep them in a drunken state. It wasn't long until Sarah had to escort her friends back to the hotel before things got a little out of hand.

As we walked along the street we met an elderly lady in a wheelchair and a black man pushing her. Dotty, the lady, was telling us all about New Orleans and what it's like during Mardi Gra. The black man was telling us how he hates all the hustlers. "It gives us black people a bad name, people look at me and assume that I'm trying to rob them of something." He then would turn round and tell a group of hustlers to sod off.

Girl Group #2

In the next pub we met another group of girls we in their southern tongue asked, "Ya'll real cowboys?" When we told them our story they were just confused as to why we were dressed that way. With them were three lads who told us in no uncertain terms that they were not going home alone. Tagging along we found out that Mary-Kate was the birthday girl and that's why they were out in New Orleans. Every now and then we'd be asked again "Ya'll real cowboys?" They seemed to have a memory like a goldfish. I'd like to be able to tell you more about the night but things got a little hazy and the feeling in the morning was awful.

Road Trip To Texas - Day 4 & 5

Jack Daniel's Visitor Centre

Waking up in a Nashville car park early in the morning to a bird singing in my ear hole was not the best start to the day and it was told in the most polite way possible to sod off. After grabbing a bite to eat at the local fast food joint we set off to Lynchburg for an education tour, this time we were to learn the history of Mr Jack Daniel's. 

Lynchburg is a very small town of 5-6 thousand people and there is nothing to do here; something the distillery tells us at the beginning of the tour. The reason being that they don't want anything to 

distract them from their whiskey making. As we approached the visitors centre we were welcomed with Jack Daniel's rocking chairs and used barrels everywhere. Upon opening the door we were inundated with information regarding the history of the drink and how it's made. The funny thing however is that the county in which Lynchburg is situated is dry so we weren't allowed any free tasters. The fact that it was Easter Sunday didn't exactly help either.

Our tour guide was a guy called Dusty and couldn't be anymore stereotypically southern if he tried. Wearing his dungarees and JD baseball cap, Dusty slurred his words and often forgot what he was talking about. He picked his ears as he talked and made numerous hand gestures when he couldn't think of the right word. It turns out that he works at the local elementary school as a teacher during the week and he does the tours at weekends. I guess it is very much a family thing as his grandfather was the master distiller in his day. 

Leaving Lynchburg we headed south to Birmingham, Alabama. On the journey I learned on the radio that the white man is enslaved and must be freed by the black man. Apparently the black man is the most unforgiving of men and needs to let go of the past and let free the white man. As the two presenters were discussing this very odd subject an email came in asking them about latinos. The answer was that he wasn't aware that they were enslaved but they must concentrate on freeing the white man first. The reason for this is that there is no country in the world that is run well by a non white male. If your country is run by anything other than a white male, it isn't run correctly. When they tried to think of a hispanic country that was led well they came up with Spain. I was astounded that they allowed this on the radio.

Arriving in Alabama it was noticeable that the road kill got a little bigger. No longer were there racoons on the side of the road, but dogs. A lot of dogs. Entering Birmingham at 5pm was strange, it was like a zombie film. The streets were deserted, the wind picked up just enough for the traffic lights to swing in the air, and all the buildings were derelict. The first sign of life was a queue of homeless people waiting for the shelter to open up. Looking for somewhere to eat we had a look at the 100 places to eat in Alabama leaflet we picked up at the welcome centre. Setting Phoney to the destination we were taken to yet another derelict building with no sign of life. Trying to get out of the city was simple as you could stop in the middle of the road, look up directions and have no need to worry that you are in the way as we were the only car on the streets.

Leaving Alabama we headed to New Orleans for some jazz and blues music. Despite the smell of sewage invading your nostrils every now and then, it really is a pretty place. As we wandered around Bourbon Street we noticed that you are allowed to drink in the street and that pubs had little window bars for you to order to take away. The homeless people here, and there are a lot of them, were loving it as they sat in the sun and drank the days away. They don't even try to hide their habits as they would bluntly ask for money for beer or weed; honesty is the best policy. One particular homeless man shouted to Evan that he always has been, will be, and currently is absolutely, utterly, and completely wasted. Then he fell over.

Wikipedia

New Orleans

La Nouvelle-Orléans (New Orleans) was founded May 7, 1718, by the French Mississippi Company, under the direction of Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville, on land inhabited by the Chitimacha. It was named for Philippe d'Orléans, Duke of Orléans, who was Regent of France at the time. His title came from the French city of Orléans. The French colony was ceded to the Spanish Empire in the Treaty of Paris (1763). During the American Revolutionary War, New Orleans was an important port to smuggle aid to the rebels, transporting military equipment and supplies up the Mississippi River. Bernardo de Gálvez y Madrid, Count of Gálvez successfully launched the southern campaign against the British from the city in 1779. New Orleans remained under Spanish control until 1801, when it reverted to French control. Nearly all of the surviving 18th century architecture of the Vieux Carré (French Quarter) dates from this Spanish period. (The most notable exception being the Old Ursuline Convent.) Napoleon sold the territory to the United States in the Louisiana Purchase in 1803. Thereafter, the city grew rapidly with influxes of Americans, French, Creoles, Irish, Germans and Africans. Major commodity crops of sugar and cotton were cultivated with slave labor on large plantations outside the city.